Between job loss, pregnancy, and finding a new job, I’ve completely lost track of time. For my first long post in a loooong time, I thought I’d tell you about some of the trials and tribulations, and of course joys, of being on the nest. It’s my Friday Feel, I feel damn pregnant.
Yes, pregnancy. A glorious time of growth and developing life, and… and…
I’m sorry I can’t do. Pregnancy kinda sucks. Sure, you get a baby out of it which is totally amazing but this is hard fucking work. If it’s not for you that’s awesome and no it isn’t the most important job a woman can have or the only thing that makes you a woman. I did want this and I definitely still do, but like a five minute break would be cool.
Pregnancy comes with a host of “fun” symptoms I’m sure we’ve all heard about- nausea, fatigue, constipation, stretch marks, sore back, etc.- but it also comes with some rather surprising changes that frankly I could have lived without. One such symptom is “pregnancy brain.” Yes, apparently that really is a thing. Who knew?
The production killer that is pregnancy brain has hit me hard during these five months. I actually had to count that on my hand because everything in pregnancy is measured in weeks. In the beginning, when I though I was dying, the pregnancy brain I experienced I assumed was a result of being exhausted and nauseated and tired and nauseated. Yeah, it was a blast. Now that I’m in the “honeymoon” phase of pregnancy, it’s much more obvious that my brain just isn’t working like it did.
Now, the science behind this is baffling to me. Some studies say it is totally real and probably the result of hormones (as everything is when you’re pregnant) and others say it is probably all in our heads. Well, in my head or not, my brain no worky.
Quite often the anomaly presents itself in me like this: We have a doctor’s appointment in the morning so I go to remind my husband and say, “We’ve got a doctor’s appointment this weekend. No. Not weekend. In the morning. Why did I say that?”
It happens all the time. I’m certain I’m about to say one thing and other thing comes out of my mouth. Weirdness. Also, mildly frustrating. What my brain has no trouble at all focusing on is baby stuff. Not things related to baby, I mean all the stuff there is to buy. The nesting instinct you hear so much about got real in the past few weeks. All I want to do is buy stuff for the nursery.
Another interesting thing about being pregnant is the amount of goo your body now produces. Now, avert your eyes for the next few lines if you just ate or something. When pregnant, you make a mucus plug to seal up the cervix. Those two words are probably the most foul things I could ever say to my husband but that’s what happens. Mucus plugs up stuff. It’s actually a good thing.
A side effect of needing to do this is that your body increases the mucus production everywhere, and I mean everywhere. I’ve never blown my nose so much in my life. Plus, there’s a bit of a post-nasal thing going on and I’m not going to get into the stuff downstairs. The moral of this part of the story is that there is a lot of goo that happens during pregnancy not to mention birth itself. Yum.
And to round things out a bit, you also get to enjoy backaches, bloody noses and gums, amazing if weird sex dreams, skin issues that run the gamut, sleepless nights (even though preggers should really get to rest), and just so much more that depends on your precise chemistry and make up.
However, as I type away, Baby Moon is kicking up a storm. And that’s pretty cool, if also occasionally painful. It also sometimes feels like a fish swimming in you which is a bit unsettling. But seriously, there’s a life growing in there. A real human!
And that right there has a way of making up for some of the unpleasantness.
It’s also quite fun to eat something cold and sugary and feel ’em dance!
So, it’s tough. Always has been, always will be. It’s also pretty cool. Mostly.
And to my little one, I don’t know you and I love you. Sometimes I feel like I do understand a bit of who you are, you move around when I’m happy and really like kicking me in the bladder. So, you sound just like your mom.
Your mom. That’s me. How wonderfully strange.
And now I’m off to go ugly cry thanks to hormones, the joy, and a fitting end to this Friday’s feel fest.
Momma loves you little Moon.